Some Thoughts on Global Awakening’s ‘Voice of the Apostles’ Conference, Lancaster, PA Oct. 29-Nov. 2
The setting of the conference was that my three Sons, Jason, Benjamin, and Zachary were all with me for the first time in years. Jason and Ben are serving in the Army while Zach just finished. Jason also carried his beloved three year old Tommy who was born with brain cognitive issues. This report is a remembrance of the amazing encounters we had with our Lord and with his Body. It was far better than what I had expected.
1. I discovered new connections with God during corporate worship.
Even the week before the conference God was already stirring my heart deeply by the song Jason sent me: ‘Inhabit’ by Bethel Music and Emmy Rose. What I gained from this song got tremendously amped up by our worship at the conference. We sang The Doxology for, oh, twenty minutes. It was repeated over and over and I just couldn’t get enough of it. The same happened with a song about The Blood, and about many others. In the past I could not have tolerated repetition. The words became part of me. The music created a new kind of worship I’ve never experienced before. The songs became commentary on Scripture. It penetrated my heart, soul, and especially my gut. And every song awakened a longing for even more encounter with Messiah. I became a man of ‘one thing’ (Ps. 27:4) – to be a place of God’s habitation, where he wants to hang out. And along with that, I want to be a living offering (Rom. 12:1) to him. That’s it. It may sound too vague or simple, but it’s this new focus that really grips my attention. My whole heart goes into this consecration. I’m repeating it many times, like it was one of the Creeds. It will be my focus for the rest of my life.
Here’s what was happening over and over again the whole conference long, in my sleep, and in between moments: All I could say was, Jesus, I give you my heart, I love you, I love you, I love you. Then I would often get bent over, almost convulsing, weakened down, gut muscles tight as a drum, knees giving out and falling to the floor while the weight of his glory and presence came piling down on me. I discovered that this is what I was created to be. So, to be set aside for him is the greatest honor and friendship I could ever know. It is the best version of me.
2. This discovery about God spilled over into connections with people.
I wish I could remember names better, some of which are foreign. I want to remember Sheri, who is recognized by Global Awakening. During the impartation service she prayed over me and I received prophetic words that immediately witnessed to my heart. I wish I could have recorded these, but I remember that it was that I’d be working with the young, high school and college students. But I needed to act on the imparted gifts and not leave them dormant. Also, it was revealed that I needed to release any thought that I had failed God in my call. It was one of the most powerful prayers of enduement I’ve ever known, being blown away by the insight and the understanding her prophecy gave me. Then there is the Robertson’s and their two young children, the wife of which also prayed with me. She again had prophetic insight for me about my calling in Christ. I would be discipling the young. Her word definitely reassured me about by my perceived shortcomings with God’s call.
After this I met John and Christine Capps, whose prophetic words exuded faith and courage to me, and that I would bridge the generation gaps and minister to the young. There that part is again. A young woman from Nigeria, whose name I cannot pronounce, sat by us (my three son and one grand-son) and then wrote a prophetic word to each of my boys and then one for me. The words described what God was setting up for each of us. The words had specifics for each one of us. I was so surprised that a seeming stranger would take the time to seek the Lord for each one of us.
While waiting in a long line to get into a morning meeting, as it slowly proceeded I struck up a conversation with the woman behind us. She was from New York City. I discussed my encounter with God about being a habitation for God, and about being an offering to him. She totally understood and exhorted me forward in it. She, like the rest of these, was so wise and prophetic. Then I ran into her again with her husband, who likewise strongly encouraged me on. Could anything good come out of New York? I walked away with much assurance in my heart.
Amy, who was sitting behind us, was so kind to visit with us but was too polite to ask my name. But when I told her my name she looked shocked. Then she produced a bottle of anointing oil and said God had told her to give it to someone named ‘Tim.’ Then I was the one shocked. She suggested I could anoint each of my boys with the oil, declaring something they were destined for.
Tom Atwater and his wife, missionaries to Colombia, were sitting behind us. We got acquainted and I asked if I might pray for them. As we prayed and felt this tangible anguish from God’s heart, the Spirit fell upon me and I could no longer stand and lost my ability to speak, collapsing into the seat I was kneeling on. But then the Spirit God fell on Tom, who fell on top of me. After a few moments we regained our legs and I finished my prayer. It all ended with laughter and amazement for God stepping in.
Finally, while we were all in worship, I saw a Korean (I think) girl in prayer. The Holy Spirit showed me to pray for her to have boldness to enter ‘the holiest of all’ (Heb. 9:3, 8; 10:19). As we prayed, the Spirit of the Lord fell on me again, my knees buckled, and I lost the ability to speak. She somehow caught me and pulled me up, to finish my prayer for boldness. We were both amazed at the presence of the Lord and more than a little encouraged. I suppose these stories sound hokey. But how can total strangers meet and within moments be bonded together by (1) a shared profound presence of the Lord and (2) by the wonder of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and (3) by shared testimonies that ache for more? That bond feels amazing! It is a foretaste of the heavenly realm. That realm is breaking into our earthly one and it creates so much destiny-foretelling and joy and holy rest.
3. Connections with God’s Word and Holiness.
In Ex. 3:1-10 Moses comes in touch with God. As he discovers the burning bush, (not consumed!) he is unknowingly invited by God to come and see. What kind of fire is this? He suddenly discovers he is talking to Someone in the bush who already knew his name, who tells him to take off his shoes, for he is standing on holy ground, the conductor of intimate contact with the holy One. It is an invitation to ‘feel the holy.’ It is his first experience in worship, and it went all through him. This is what the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob felt like. It is from the wonder of this brief introduction, where every other memory of his life paled in significance, that the Lord established a relationship with Moses.
Understand also, this accomplished a re-connection to his longed-for but far-off fathers, and their home, the holy land, but not Egypt. From this setting, God bared his heart and soul to Moses, asking him to join him in his mission. But note: though the meaning of Moses’ whole bewildering past must have evaded him, it had also been mysteriously preparing him for this very moment, this conversation, and this assignment. I experienced something of this kind of holiness at the conference.
Look at I John 1:1 – “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life”. In contrast to Moses who ‘heard and saw’ the Lord in the burning bush but was not to touch it, so John said we also heard and saw him, but there was more. He added, ‘Our hands have handled the Word of life.’ John laid his head into Jesus’ bosom in heartfelt passion, clinging to him at the last supper (John 13:23). It was a felt-encounter with Jesus who is holy. And Peter’s sinking hand in a moment of doubt while walking on the sea, was instantly gripped by Jesus’ saving hand. It also was a felt-encounter with Jesus who is holy. And the Holy Spirit gives it to us ‘to behold the glory of the Lord,’ that by this we should be changed to his same image, from glory to glory (II Cor. 3:18). It is an encounter with the Spirit who is holy. I describe my encounters with Jesus in PA as holy. The Body of Christ, which was all around me, manifested the wonder of the heavenly, his holy presence.
What is it like to feel the holy in God? How would that change my perception of the existential environment around me? Is his holiness at all challenged by my perversity? Is holiness and light stronger than my disappointments and darkness? How can it be that holy ground invites me in, as I am, and befriends me and lifts me and delivers me from my own wretchedness? I want that. I want the Holy Spirit. I want to be a house that God wants to dwell. I want to make myself an offering to him, because it is the best version of me and the most fulfilling. I was born for this. I come alive when his Holy Word and Holy Spirit go all through me. And I want more than anything else to be, through his mercies, a place of his holy communion so I can ‘present my body a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God’ (Rom. 12:1).
Tim Halverson
lionsheadcafe.com 