Forgiveness is the key to heaven, happiness, and contentment. A friend of a friend of ours, Michael O’Shields, has written a book on the subject, Rethinking Forgiveness, Getting Ahead, Not Getting Even, (available on Amazon), and in it, he points out that the first directive Jesus gave his disciples after his resurrection was that they forgive others of their sins and, by so doing, those sins would be forgiven. But if they retained the sins of others, those sins would be retained. (John 20:23)
“Then, the same day at evening [after appearing to Mary], being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’ When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.
“So Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace to you! As the Father has sent me, I also send you.’ And when he said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.'” (John 20:19-23)
Jesus knew his closest followers were hiding in fear and would probably have loved to settle a score with his persecutors given the chance. He had taught on forgiveness several times during his ministry and he wanted to make sure they understood that forgiving others was nonoptional. There are some who think he was establishing a foundation for church leadership and that only ordained clergy can forgive you of your sins. But the abundance of scripture makes it clear that if you forgive others, you not only free them of the burden of your holding something against them for a wrong they have committed, but you also free yourself to walk in the grace and forgiveness of God.
Forgiveness is the principal element of love. It hearkens way back to Genesis, when Joseph had been sold into slavery by his brothers who were jealous of him. When they met up with him many years later, he was the second ranking official in all of Egypt, next to Pharoah himself, though his brothers didn’t recognize him at the time. Later, when all was revealed, just prior to his death, their father Jacob told Joseph’s brothers to ask Joseph “Now, please, forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin; for they did evil to you.” When he heard their plea for forgiveness, Joseph cried because he truly loved his brothers and forgave them, saying, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant if for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” (Genesis 50:16-21) Then Joseph comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
New Testament examples of forgiveness include Jesus’ forgiving Peter after he denied him three times (Matthew 26:26-69), David showing kindness to the house of Saul after Saul tried to kill him (2 Samuel 9), Stephen’s forgiveness toward the men who were stoning him to death, and of course, Jesus on the cross imploring the Father to forgive those who were crucifying and humiliating him when he said, “Forgive them because they don’t know what they’re doing.”
Contemporarily, forgiveness is defined as “letting go of past grudges or lingering anger against a person or persons. When you are mad at someone, but you then accept his apology and are no longer mad.” As brother O’Shields emphasizes in his book, when you forgive someone, in addition to setting them free, you set yourself free as well. Beyond that, he recommends your blessing the one you’ve forgiven which can be done in any number of ways, e.g., praying for them, giving a gift (perhaps in secret), speaking well of that person to someone else.
Unforgiveness results in trying to get even but it never works that way. Someone once said bitterness, or the refusal to forgive, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The one who is bitter often suffers a worse circumstance or fate than the one not forgiven. One theologian wrote, “When you forgive, you set a prisoner free. And then you discover that the prisoner was you. Another wrote, “We often think that in forgiving others, we are making some sort of sacrifice, or giving them a gift. Yet that’s the thing about gifts. They are only good if you release them. Furthermore, we do not own this gift. It is God’s gift. He just asked us to share that gift with others.”
The potentially confusing part of Jesus’ exchange with the disciples in that room is when he said, “If you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” What this means most likely is that if we choose not to forgive someone, we then take on their sin. And unlike Jesus, we cannot absorb sin without having it affect us in some way or other. Another word for forgiveness is “to free” or “to let go.” In giving us the power to forgive, Jesus gave us freedom, from not only our sins, but the sins of others. If we don’t use that gift, we hold on to all that sin, anger, and resentment in our hearts, and we are imprisoned by it.
But forgiveness is more than just a spiritual self-help exercise. It’s a commandment of God that carries eternal implications. Immediately following the Lord’s prayer in which we are exhorted to forgive our debtors in the same way we ask God to forgive our debts, Jesus said, “For if you forgive men their trespasses [parallel term for debts, I suppose], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14,15) That is a sobering thought. There may be a way to sidestep that statement rationalizing that he didn’t really mean you won’t go to heaven if you don’t forgive, but do you really want to take that chance?
I have never been, nor do I hope I will ever be, tested in this whole matter of forgiving someone or some group for violating my person or anyone I care for as so many other believers and martyrs have been so severely violated throughout history up to this present time. I have lived a fairly sheltered life, and past grievances are relatively small and insignificant, but I know by the word and by the Spirit, that it’s the only way to peace and a good conscience toward God. It goes beyond the seventy times seven Jesus told Peter about. It should be automatic. Something you walk in. Something you wear. Like putting on Christ, his character, his attitude, his love and affection for the whole world.
Terry
lionsheadcafe.com 